Learning to Mother with Mary

While Mary’s courage inspires me, her surrender—her Fiat—deeply intimidates me. Because if Mary could do it, then so could I. There are many things Mary did that I pray I never have to do. It is terrifying to think about giving up control, especially when it comes to my children…
As a mother, I don’t want to imagine the loss of my child. And yet, I’ve pictured it—more times than I’d like to admit. Intrusive thoughts come unexpectedly, terrifyingly. Even during pregnancy, I remember the vulnerability of knowing how common miscarriages are, wondering: What if it’s my turn? My turn to lose a child. My turn to look death in the eye. My turn to be asked to trust God with something I couldn’t bear to lose.